A Panda in Wonderland ★

A girl named Yuna.

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The smell of spring fills my nostrils when I walk through a green field somewhere in the countryside of Japan. I wonder why I don’t come across any cherry blossom trees and pause my steps allowing my gaze to linger over the peaceful sight. It’s quite. Too quite and there aren’t any other people around. Continuing my way through the field I arrive at the edge of a wood. The trees appear old and mysterious with all the moss spreading over their tribes. Only the small buds lure me closer. I feel a gentle breeze from behind as if it wants to encourage me to go further into the forest. First hesitantly I start moving and follow the little path until I reach a by warm sunbeams brightened clearing. Furthermore I see an old shrine. A Shinto gate leading to the stone steps which graciously guid me upstairs past the decorative stone lanterns to the wooden main hall. The shrine seemed to be owned by nature. Neglected by human hand however surrounded by a holly atmosphere.

Suddenly I feel a small hand embracing mine. Turning around I look down into two almond-shaped eyes of a young girl. She has long black hair and only wears a short white dress. Worriedly I look around for her parents, puzzled how a small girl like her could be out in the forest all by herself.

“I’m Yuna.” she tells me squeezing my hand and sending me a friendly smile. I’m kneeling down in front of her and tousle through her soft hair and introduce myself. Yuna laughs and pulls me along with her to a small bench. Handing me a cup of tea I bring myself to ask her what she is doing in such a place all by herself and where he parents are. Her bright expression changed into a rather mystic one when she just silently shakes her head.

“Yuna doesn’t have parents.” she gets up and points at the shrine. “This is my home. The place I’m watching over and the only place where I can meet people like you – so I’m not lonely.” her overwhelming smile is back but inside of me there are even more questions forming.

‘People like me?’ as if she could read my mind Yuna gestures me to follow after her. Obediently I get up and we end up in a small garden behind the shrine. Yuna crouches down giving water to a small bud trying to grow in the shade of a big tree.

“People who have lost their way and are searching for answers.” she suddenly addresses me over her little shoulder. I tilte my head aside.

“Big sister? You know, this little bud here, it needs a lot of sunlight to blossom but since it’s growing in the shade of the big tree it has less chances than other buds. However, I can only water it. There is no way that I could help it grow. The bud has to grow out of his own strength. That’s why every bud will blossom differently. Another color, another shape and another height. Some will blossom longer some will fade sooner. That’s life. Faith. Nature. What ever we humans want to call it.” giggling she straightens up and opens her slim arms widely before giving the small bud another look, “Still, I hope that this one will find the strength to blossom like any other flower. Even though it might have harder conditions to unfold its beauty than all the other buds blooming in the sunlight. I believe that it will be the most stunning one when spring is here.”

I feel my heart beating faster. How can a small girl like her be filled with such wisdom. Who is she? Why am I here and for what reason is she telling me all of these things? Before I can continue my thoughts Yuna has gotten a hold of my hands again and it feels like her mere touch fills me with new energy.

“Even if you take the long way around – if you keep looking you’ll find your way. Today and even the next days might be exhausting and tiring but one day your effort will pay off. Keep walking, keep growing so that you can blossom one day.” she whispers into my ear and I feel how warm tears run down my cheeks.

Sunlight tickles my nose when I wake up tangled up in my blanket. I look around. My room. My house. Germany. That was such an odd dream. However it got me thinking and even though it might have just been a dream – it left an emotional mark on me. Yuna. Thank you.


I always wanted to type down the dream I had a while ago since it really moved me deeply. Right now I’m stumbling from one hardship to another but I won’t give in and I hope that other people who read this stop struggling and start fighting as well.


Author: clumsypanda

Dance is your pulse, your heartbeat, your breathing. It's the rhythm of your life.

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